found a replacement yet?

Missing people who you have shared your best moments with for over such a long period of time is inevitable, but how long until you become numb to their presence, when you still see them and hear of things they do, things that you used to be part of and that they only do because of you?

What really gets to me is that after getting individuals to become friends through me, helping them to get to where they are, always being there if they need you, through the shit times and the best times, they turn around and ignore you, without a reason being given.

Cowards is what they are. I'm a simple kinda person, don't need too much attention but it gets to me when people turn their backs on you without at least explaining why. Things weren't said but there was closure, bitter closure...

I wish I knew, but I don't. I wont say that I don't care, because i do, but not as much...out of sight out of mind...clearly the wrong concept for this.

the thing i find extremely funny is how you have "replaced" me with someone who is SO much like me. isn't it ironic in a way that you wont have me around but want someone just like me to always be there? be fake...i wont turn the blind eye...chances were given, more then once but you never took them. imagine what it would be like losing your best friend to nothing...

she needs to have someone strong near...someone to guide her to the right decision..i would like to think that at one point that was part of what i did as a friend. but how will she take to someone who is so self centered, vicious, backstabbing and selfish as the person who made her mind up for her about the one decision she could have made on her own?? She cant really make her own decisions...not totally unaided anyway.

I'm lucky i still have real friends, and as fast as i lost them I've made others who in a way can get me to the ultimate goal and put me in my own little pedestal. I am somewhat self centered, but doesn't everyone have a place that they would eventually like to be at? in no way am i using them, because really I'm not...but i would like to be helped somewhat by those people to get to where i am...arrogant as that may seem...

i love my friends, and at times they made the difference between making it through the hard times, them and 6 guys who are amazingly funny, sweet, talented and famous...something i only wanna think of but never become...that ultimate fantasy that everyone has at the back of their mind...would i like to be successful? YES and i know everything comes at a price, and maybe I'm starting to pay that price...

separation...i guess you could call it that...i guess I'm the one who came out with nothing to hide...at least I have no dirty little secrets...

-Gaby