the lady in red

why is it that everytime things start going ok for me i start to feel like this?

i shouldnt be complaining; seriously, everything is good right now, but i feel so sensitive to everything thats happening around me.

i've had an amazing few weeks over the summer, tours were good, hanging out and meeting awesome new people was even better, and making things official with my bf too, was pretty sweet.
i just wanna know how long it will last, the age gap isnt a problem, i guess that the problem is really me and how i'm going to deal with things. usually the word relationship makes most people happy, im a little scared to be honest, i like him, he likes me, i think that he might possibly like me more then i do him but thats something that i have to deal with.

i guess everyone goes through the stage that they think, what the fuck am i going to do with my life right now, this is it for me.

i need a new job, i need to move out, i need to do something that is worth my time and that i enjoy...anyone wanna show me the ropes on the road?? managing bands etc?! haha that would be my dream job, but i have a better chance of getting married to prince harry then becoming a tour manager lol.

i read jamie's blog today and i totally relate to it. all the expectations and perceptions the world has of each one of us, and how we try to cover that up or shape things out to be perceived in another way, everyone does it, everyone has something that they hide behind, noone can ever be fully understood and noone wants to fully understand.

what do you hide behind? tattoos, drugs, music, alcohol, lies...
whatever it is, you should come out of there once in a little while to see what things could be like on another light...being yourself cant always be a bad thing right?!

i have soo many thoughts going through my head right now, i hope im doing the right thing with this relationship, one way or another only time will tell.

Vinnie, if you still read this, i miss talking to you...like we used to years ago before everything else got complicated. you know how to get in contact, and if you feel like doing so, i'd love to hear from you.

signing out...

- Gaby x