just to clear things up...

First of all...Who are you??
Go back and read things properly...when i said "his only friend" it said this:

"Myspace messages...being his only actual "friend" on his Made in hell clothing page."

meant on the 11th of july to the 12th of july...when i was the only person other than "Tom" on his friends list of his CLOTHING LINE.

seriously, why am i even bothering to do this? guess that i just really dont want to get people to think that im something that im not.

I never claimed to be a friend of Ian's...marely another person that goes to his gigs, and if you dont know who i am, have never met me or talked to me, dont fucking judge me (and yes you can talk to me on aim if really needed use this screen name... dunksbabycakes over my private one.) because i dont judge you, even if you are trying to start shit over the net.

if you want to have a valid discussion, involving people that are not bothered about what other people write about them, then leave the "*insert name here* doesnt even know you" or "why are you trying to pretend to be friends with someone that your not" out as i'm not gonna credit you one bit for dragging them into it. they have my myspace, they can say that they dont know me. but ask them to take a look at the profile, as names sometimes arent remembered (even if he knows my nickname 2 years after being told it the first time).

Whatever you do, DO NOT try make a fool of me as you will be proven wrong, i have no reason to write things that arent true, im not interested in the slightest bit of gossip because i know who he's dating, and has been for at least a year now. (i know who, i dont KNOW them).

drama around bands is inevitable, so leave me out of it when and where possible.
if you still have a problem at the end of the day im prepared to discuss things but i dont do it over websites.

anyway i gotta go.

- Gaby xx

fucking lies...

i hate the fact that i cant get hold of him right now, and havent been able to for basically the past 3 days...i tried calling, texting...nothing works.

things arent adding up...meetings over drinks...extremely late dinners...being so fucking cold...

guess what hunny, you know how you always say that you want this to last...

its over. for real.

yeah there is the fact that you might have genuine reasons for that, of which id want to have a serious look at.

you dont tell me that girls at your work have made a move on you...that gets to me majorly...

relationships...thank fuck i have no actual feelings appart from liking you as a person. thank fuck i dont love you, even if you love me.

i guess im free to do whatever i want tomorrow night...



i love going on tour... see people that i love hanging out with, watch them play, get drunk and take photos...and not much else really!!!

im off to sleep...got a ob interview tomorrow...hope i get it because im fucking bored not working!

-Gaby xx

3 words can change everything

take this however you want, could be either way.

friday night martin said those 3 words and i was well...lost for words, full of thoughts...

i am extremely tired right now...things in the past week have been moving at an extraordinary pace and im not sure i'll get used to it.

i had fun talking to some people over the week...
vinnie finally got in contact again which was nice, even though that might not have been the nicest circumstances why he called. however i do hope things work out for him.

im tired and sorting out my music, so im gonna make make a sick ass playlist for me to listen to when i go to sleep...which will be sometime very soon.

hope everyone had a good day.

it was sunny today. i saw tash and we went to croydon...those massage stools were funny as hell.

-Gaby xx

trust...

You need to earn it. Specially from me.
He is walking on a very thin line...any minute it can snap...so don't put any more stress on it. I feel smouldered by you, but at the same time I can't work out why you were so cold today. Have I really made the right choice??
Lets see if this relationship will survive another month...in which I will fall to pieces...and not because of you.

Saw kate today, was good! I missed the fatty <3

Off to sleep can barely keep my eyes open.

-Gaby x

ready or not...

im in this for the long run...

wish me luck, i have at least 3 things to get through before the year is out.

last night was fun, we drunk, we chilled, listened to a hell of a lot of Zeppelin and Pink Floyd...some elton john (funeral for a friend) which reminded me of Darran playinly for the name of the band...

also meatloaf, which made me really sad, i actually cried for the first time since Kim died, he was one of her fav musicians and the last one she ever went to see. 2 years gone by, and i cried for the first time last night because of Kim, rip.

after that me and Martin cuddled up in bed and i dont even remember drifting off to sleep...

right now i really miss 3 people, tfair, bryan and ian...i just miss hanging out witho those guys...bryan being near enough as much of a drinker as i am...tfair is a LIGHTWEIGHT!! haha and ian...well t'watkins is SxE.....to those who dont know him anyway...haha

im off as i got bored of writing this.

-Gaby xx

the lady in red

why is it that everytime things start going ok for me i start to feel like this?

i shouldnt be complaining; seriously, everything is good right now, but i feel so sensitive to everything thats happening around me.

i've had an amazing few weeks over the summer, tours were good, hanging out and meeting awesome new people was even better, and making things official with my bf too, was pretty sweet.
i just wanna know how long it will last, the age gap isnt a problem, i guess that the problem is really me and how i'm going to deal with things. usually the word relationship makes most people happy, im a little scared to be honest, i like him, he likes me, i think that he might possibly like me more then i do him but thats something that i have to deal with.

i guess everyone goes through the stage that they think, what the fuck am i going to do with my life right now, this is it for me.

i need a new job, i need to move out, i need to do something that is worth my time and that i enjoy...anyone wanna show me the ropes on the road?? managing bands etc?! haha that would be my dream job, but i have a better chance of getting married to prince harry then becoming a tour manager lol.

i read jamie's blog today and i totally relate to it. all the expectations and perceptions the world has of each one of us, and how we try to cover that up or shape things out to be perceived in another way, everyone does it, everyone has something that they hide behind, noone can ever be fully understood and noone wants to fully understand.

what do you hide behind? tattoos, drugs, music, alcohol, lies...
whatever it is, you should come out of there once in a little while to see what things could be like on another light...being yourself cant always be a bad thing right?!

i have soo many thoughts going through my head right now, i hope im doing the right thing with this relationship, one way or another only time will tell.

Vinnie, if you still read this, i miss talking to you...like we used to years ago before everything else got complicated. you know how to get in contact, and if you feel like doing so, i'd love to hear from you.

signing out...

- Gaby x